one day; one love♥: November 2009

[copied from my xanga post from September 18th, 2009]

DISCLAIMER: any translations i have on this page are from 2OD. credits to them<3

So now that my oral exams are over [in which i did very poorly, given the recent circumstances], i can now fully write out how i feel about this situation. given the content, i dont need people telling me im an idiot for feeling so strongly about a 'celebrity'...nor branding me as a stupid fangirl who likes girly guys, as i have gotten so many times before...so this shall remain off facebook. it is also going to be epically long...so that'll probably deter a lot of you from reading. this is more for my own relief and reference more than anyone else.

so, where do i start? how i first came to know jay park and 2pm. as everyone knows by now, i am an avid fan of the korean music industry. i follow it way too closely, and could probably tell you things about a wide wide range of korean singers and bands. music is a very important aspect of me, and although i find myself to be quite tolerate of teasing and criticism in other aspects of my life, dissing my choice of music when you have no idea - is something i do NOT tolerate, and i honestly get incredibly peeved about....ahh. good to get that out of my system.

2pm and 2am form 2 subgroups of the band ONE DAY, which is the recent brainchild of JYP entertainment, one of the prominent music entertainment companies in korea [the others being YG and SM entertainment.] i havent really been a huge fan of JYP's music...more because i was never exposed to it, but when 2am and 2pm debuted end of last year, i downloaded their mini albums and happily listened to their music + nothing more, as i often do.

i had seen 2pm's mv for their debut single, 10점만점에10점/10 points out of 10, and to be honest i wasnt really impressed with the mv...which was quite suggestive in some parts in comparison to other mvs [which is what i suppose, set them apart from other groups], and didnt really showcase any impressive singing abilities. as far as i recall, my thoughts of 2pm last year were quite mediocre on superficial examination. i however, had seen word around soompi about a certain park jaebeom...although i had been on a long hiatus from soompi before then..

come July this year after coming home from Canada...decided to waste some time and get back onto soompi. and find out more about this....park jaebeom. and through my prying through the forums i discovered that 3 members of 2pm are american: nichkhun, ok taecyeon + park jaebum. hopped on to youtube [what would i do without you], watched all the clips of them speaking their awesome english [im a sucker for asian boys with american accents]...and the rest is history. or something like that.

another point that probably drew me to jay was his friggin AWESOME hair. if you don't know already....i love love LOVE funky hair. the long mohawk was LOVE...and he looked awesome. [if i was a guy...id do that to my hair, for SURE]..and through my excessive youtubing, his notorious shirt-ripping ways [famous, famous abs].

so...who was this kid with the amazing abs who appeared so confident, cocky and charismatic onstage? jay park, a 22 year old kid from Edmonds, Seattle. a bboy with his crew Art of Movement before he came to korea 4 years prior, after passing an american JYP audition - told to try out by his mum=]...and so it seemed...that this kid...came all the way to korea not knowing exactly he was in for.

the more i watched 2pm and interviews with jay - i learnt this kid was honest, humble, hardworking and full of dreams. always rebutting compliments about being goodlooking and having a good voice, using his spare time to work out [gym for 3 hrs a day? went to the gym when he was lonely...]...

"Dance is the way that I express myself...
and what I do to just get away from all the stress...
and get away from the real world...
its also what I do to entertain people...
I came here to uh, just make ends meet,
and I work hard every day for my family, my friends and my crew Art of Movement,
and Il never forget where I came from, Il never forget my roots...
Im always gonna have that hunger state of mind,
Im just gonna do this everyday like its my last..."

completely won over by the brutal honesty of 2pm - which made me love them all the more. no pretense, carefully formed answers like other idol groups. they said what they felt and it was REAL. not to mention it was refreshing to see a boy group who isnt girly...the new BEAST/짐승 idols, compared with other FLOWER BOY/꽃미남 groups...=P my love for 2pm grew; i capped myself two months in a ROW halfway through the month due to 2pm watching...and from july until now i have not gone a night without listening to or watching something 2pm.

the trainee documentary of ONE DAY 'hot blood' in 2007/2008 made me feel the utmost respect for the boys and what the endured to get to where they are today - tricked into going on a boot camp for the weekend...military-style beach trainings, 6am topless jogs [eventually jogging in the SNOW], boxing sessions, vocal trainings, rap training, bboy training...RESPECT. i cried as they cried; to see such hard work was inspiring.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oooqfkrAHBI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTI_i8Q4h04

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUpcaUTvUsw

and so that is how i came to love jay park. a boy who can rap, sing [musiq soulchild - love. won me over HAND DOWN], bboy, be HOT on stage but a DORK/such a little boy!! off it, who is humble, who has GOOD english, who did it all for his family and friends....did i also mention, a strong Christian who doesn't drink or smoke??? everything i look for and more [minus being a shortie...rofl].....

[cutest video ever]

[sang sang plus with G.O.D...where jay says his dream is to earn money...because they havent earnt any yet...and to use it to send back to seattle so his mum can buy nice stuff....T__T]

[musiq soulchild - love cover]

so being the stalker fan i am, i found his myspace, read the comments..his comments to his friends about feeling alone in korea, 'korea is gay', 'want to go back to america.'....i wouldv never thought those comments, made by an immature 18 yr old would have caused his ultimate demise....something that i would've shrugged off. i interpreted them to be words of a normal teenager...and it made him all the more less perfect and REAL. who DIDNT use the word gay when you were a kid?

through a time of mental struggle, with who i am, with where im going with my life...crying for weeks, thinking about where i was going...i found solace in my music, as always. and jay was a complete inspiration. watching him train, his perseverence...his skill as a bboy, improvement as a singer and innovation as a rapper [for someone who started out being Korean-illiterate]...to go to the gym in his FREE time! [of half a day...instead of resting...the kid has INSANE ABS]...made me want to exercise harder...made me want to work harder. and the fact that he was a regular american kid with a myspace + youtube account...who somehow made it big...made him all the more real to me. not so much like...an unattainable celeb.

fast forward 2009, and 2pm are the hottest thing in korea. winning awards left right and centre, and noticed by many older singers + actors etc [especially the female ones, hahahaha^^]....appearring on variety shows...countless magazine shoots, mcs of a music program.....topic of conversation in many shows....only one year after debut....on top of the world? i think so.

September 4th, 2009: date of 2pm's one year anniversary after debut. no drama. i went to university as per normal.

September 5th, 2009: korean netizens discovered jays myspace + his friends, extracts the 'gay' comments out of it and all hell breaks loose [http://www.allkpop.com/index.php/full_story/does_jaebeom_think_korea_is_gay/]...korean patriotism rears its head, and jay goes from being the hottest thing in korea to the most hated 'yankee american', in korea 'only to make money.' petitions to stop 2pm activities arise, petitions for jay to SUICIDE arise [http://www.allkpop.com/index.php/full_story/antis_create_a_suicide_petition_for_2pms_jaebeom/].

...endless harsh comments about a boy who made such naive remarks to his friend 4 years ago as a lonely trainee in a foreign country with no friends nor family....which was not meant for others to read.

same day, jay releases a statement on his fan cafe which translated all the myspace msgs and a formal apology [translated]:

Hello everyone this is 2PM’s Park Jaebum. I would like to apologize on behalf of the comments I had made through Myspace a few years ago. I’m sorry.

As I tell all of you about how I felt that time, I also would like to apologize. In January of 2005, I came to Korea as a high school student. I was born in the States and I had insufficient knowledge of how Korea is. Being it my first time, I couldn’t communicate with others, my taste buds didn’t fit, and I barely knew the culture which I couldn’t understand. I felt as though I was treated coldly by the people around me as my family was left in the States. It was such a difficult situation where I didn’t even know if I was going to debut. Due to many hardships, things were getting too hard and I was getting lonely being homesick. I had the thoughts of quitting and I wanted to go back to my family in the States. The comment based on the Korea part: I wrote that because of my personal situation I was placed in and my emotions took over. I was too young and said things in the wrong words. I was too foolish, young, and facing difficulties where I made the mistake into turning my surroundings worse. Time passed by and I forgot that I had even written them. I am now embarrassed and truly sorry of those comments I had made. After that time, I had adjusted to everything and my thoughts have changed tremendously as I thank the people around me to get me to perform on stage in any situation. Those comments were made four years ago, but I am a different person now. To my family, Hottests, members of 2PM, and those who love 2PM, I am truly sorry. From now on, I hope that there will be no mistakes like this ever again. I will say it one more time that I am truly sorry.

-2PM’s Jaebum-

...and it only goes downhill from there. 2pms activities are stopped, all members withdrawn from public appearances...jay AND his friends all shut down their myspace and youtube and facebook accounts....and global uproar of fans inside and outside korea for such mistreatment. at this time i was getting ready to leave for albury...and my heart sank...and its all i could think about the next day on the way up to albury...

September 8th, 2009: i came back from my placement for the day to find out that a few hrs prior, JAY HAD RESIGNED AS LEADER FROM 2PM....i read the apology[translated] ...and my world collapsed around me:

Hello, I'm 2PM's JaeBum.

I'm sorry for giving you my last greeting through this letter.
I think it will be hard for me to see you all on stage because of my sorry heart.

I'm really sorry to everyone, and I'm even more sorry to the fans who have shown me love.
From today, I will leave 2PM.

2PM boys, I'm really sorry to the boys and I'm sorry I couldn't be strong as a leader and a hyung and have to leave like this.
However, I hope you will be more cool and charming.

Again, I'm sorry.

JaeBum

i followed the live twitter updates of him leaving the airport...and i cant believe it happened all so soon....T___T constantly apologising and bowing...friggin made me angry to think how much this escalated:

At Incheon Airport, inside Gate 24. 2PM's Jaebum continued to repeat his apologies with his head held low before boarding his plane to Seattle. When the interviewer asked Jay about his plans in America, he talked about 'studying music.' Although he dropped out of the group, his passion for music and determination not to give up showed.

Sports Seoul.com was able to talk to Jaebum on the 8th 6:10 PM inside the Incheon Airport departure Lounge. The first things out of his mouth was 'I apologize..I'm sorry'

He said "What more can I say? I am just so sorry to the loving fans and the members who had trusted me and followed me." He added, "I am sorry that I had to leave this way, I did not fulfill my responsibilities as a leader and was just a burden, so I decided on leaving the group."

They could tell he was very tired and had gone through a lot in just a few days. His voice was very low/weak. They asked another question to Jaebum who continued to apologize with his head hanging low.

When they asked him about his plans in America, he talked about music. He said, "I am planning to study music in America" and "have a time of reflection. I want to show a more mature side both personally and musically."

He also avoided answering questions regarding his plan to return to Korea. His expression showed that it was too early to be discussing about comeback plans. Instead, he expressed, "I want to thank the fans who had come out to the airport," and "I will stay healthy in America. I will come back as a better person."

[http://www.allkpop.com/index.php/full_story/jaebeom_leaves_korea/]

for someone who had come to korea alone, with little knowledge of Korean, dislike for the culture, with no family and friends...all on the premise of helping earn money for his mum....and to train hard for 4 years...it breaks my heart to see how someone could've been wronged so badly. people change, mature....

JYP's dubious statement in which he gave no clear responses about jay's future:

The reason why we debuted Jaebum

Many people were shocked of what our friend Jaebum wrote four years ago as it was released. Of course, these were very shocking words. If another celebrity were to have written the same note, I would feel angry and betrayed also. But for those of us who have known Jaebum for a while, we are not surprised by it. Why we are not surprised is that we knew Jaebum was that kind of child before.

When he came to Korea four years ago, he was an edgy, inferior kid. He looked at Korea foolishly, his fellow trainees foolishly, the staff foolishly, and I even thought he looked at me foolishly. I thought he looked at the career of being a celebrity foolishly. He was a kid who would rather have b-boyed in the streets rather than become a celebrity. Fighting with the staff and trainers were innumerable and he would sometimes even say things such as "we’ll see who gets the best of it" after fighting with one of the staff. He even didn’t like our company and would name another company and asked us to send him to them.

What surprised us more than anything is that when he was asked the question of him being confident in succeeding, he replied saying, "I’m confident in succeeding as long as I do not receive music of Park Jin Young." From time on the staff asked me why I was keeping this inferior, messed up child. Due to the situation for him being like this then, he was just writing to his dearest friend and hearing him of these words doesn’t surprise me.

Why did I keep this child?

I like kids who are inferior/rebellious. I don’t like kids who act nice on the exterior and calculate every one of their thoughts but if they are bad and they show it, I like it. If their emotions come out naturally, I have hopes for them. Jaebum outwardly showed us by looking at me including the staff foolishly. I liked that. In our company, our artists or even trainees, who has the courage to outwardly say "I am confident in succeeding as long I don’t receive music from Park Jin Young"? I found the situation all too fun. Most rebellious kids have a lot of energy but most don’t get a chance to show the energy openly. Also many are unable to meet trustworthy people who can help them release their energy. So I believed there would be hope if I could help him feel the excitement of being on stage and help him trust the company staff, and me because I could see so much potential in him.

In this world, to Jaebum, there were only two types of people, his family and strangers. From the people I know, he cared for his family the most. In interviews he would talk about not because he wanted a cool car and clothes but because he wanted to help his hard-working parents and give them a break. This was the biggest motivation that led Jaebum to becoming a singer. Because of this reason he work harder than anyone else. His attitude was negative but his practice was the best.

Seeing those images of him I thought, ‘If he went out and thought of these company people, and the colleague trainees and our nation’s people has his family then this kid can be and outstanding kid.’ So one day I said to him, "Jaebum-ah, we don't need to be blood-related to be family. Please open your heart first. Then others can also be your family." Stacking these kinds of efforts bit by bit he slowly began to change. He began to embrace the colleagues he used to tease and look down on saying they were picked because they were good looking, he began to share personal conversations with the company staff and started to like standing on stage. His crooked expression became brighter and his dance and song began to shine. He met music, and met good colleagues so his energy finally began to spill out on the stage. I finally decided their debut and selected him to be the team’s leader. The other 6 people trusted his honesty and followed him. After debut no matter how last things finished he brought his dongsengs to practice, and always thought of his dongsengs before he thought of himself. After that as the promotions began he was moved by the entertainment people who treated him warmly, and was moved by the hot blooded love he received from the Korean fans. Through meeting good people, good colleagues, good fans, and more than anything meeting music he eventually changed.

Though it was miserable, now when he was just beginning to be happy like a scene in a movie those words from his crooked times 4 years ago were revealed. He was very sorry. To his 2PM dongsengs, to me, to the company workers, to the fans, and more than anything to those Korean people who warmly welcomed and valued him. He said that if he hesitated here any longer he felt that he would be hated by his 2PM dongsengs. And more than anything he said he had no confidence to stand on stage in this kind of state. I knew what words those were so I couldn’t grab him. This is because if I were him I think I would have made the same decision. And so he left. In the last email he sent he said ‘I’VE BEEN A LITTLE PUNK IN THE PAST. I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IT WAS A LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE. IT MADE ME A MUCH BETTER MUCH STRONGER PERSON AND I’M THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME. REAL TALK.’ My heart hurt like it was ripping. But because of the great big betrayal that the general public was feeling after receiving Jaebum’s words, I couldn’t recklessly say anything.

But the thing that I can say with confidence is that Jaebum’s image you saw on TV was not fake. Though Jaebum might have been off at times he was never wicked. Even when he was off, and again when he was bright he wasn’t a kid who hid his true feelings. When he was off he openly was off and when he was warm he treated everyone well honestly. The reason I’m writing this is not to change everyone’s anger. I know well that this isn’t something to be changed easily. Simply with the heart that if Jaebum possibly is seen that he does not receive any cold glares.

I know well of the thought of the fans who are no less than the general public’s anger, I am listening to everyone’s words. But what’s important now is not 2PM’s Park Jaebum but the young man Park Jaebum. I think it’s very important that Jaebum now looks back at himself and reflects. So as I have I would like it if everyone respected Jaebum’s decision

Lastly I want to say sorry to everyone once again.

JYP

since then i havent been able to think straight. my favourite person...ashamed of what he said years ago and all his yrs of hard work...taken away? suspended? in a span of 4 short days...his final performance with 2pm at the incheon festival was allowed to be broadcast and people saw him...bow 90 degrees to the whole audience and say im sorry...

[http://www.allkpop.com/index.php/full_story/jaebeoms_sorry_bow_at_incheon/]

...that people couldnt understand his sorry heart=[

the myspace comments he made which were PRO-korea appeared online after he left...petitions to get jay BACK appeared.....and then the responses started pouring in, from old school friends, from other celebs, from colleagues, from writers from the shows 2pm appeared on...and their portrayal of what a nice boy jay is [so in CONTRAST to the rebellious bad kid JYP wrote him to be]...made me cry. something so undeserved...excerpts below:

'Jung Eun Jung's Cyworld

He was the kid that greeted the staff with style (? she wrote with chicness) on his bed in the dormitory,
He was the kid that laughed a lot even behind cameras
He was the kid that was always honest,
He had an honesty that was innocent,
He was the kid that took pride in the letter that his mom wrote to Chansung on the mango package,
He was the kid that fed the staff Taec Yeon's mangoes secretly at 63 building,
He was the kid that would joke around and ask me 'Nuna how old are you really? show me your ID!'
He was the kid that always said 'Goodbye! Thankyou',
Jaebum was that kind of kid
At least the Jaebum I knew was that kind of kid'

'Diary of a JYP's Stylist

2009.09.09 Wednesday 16:27 Today History

On Dec 26, 2005..

A cold winter, I met a friend who has a charming smile.
Was it because I saw him on my birthday?
I can’t forget the day when we first met.

It was a showcase of trainees.
In order to do styling as a staff and meet trainees,
I also met a friend at my age when I came in my office.

According to our manager of the developing trainee department, He was a child who understood Korean just a little and was learning it step by step.

He spoke Korean together with English and wore Hip-Hop style clothes that were seen in the movie ‘Step Up’.

He was a friend who was uncomfortable in skinny jeans that I bought.
A friend who fit on a shirt without sleeve,
A friend who had a tender heart, who was worried about me and said that ‘Don’t push yourself too much’ when I caught a cold and had a hard time.

A friend who texts message slowly because he is still learning Korean,
A friend who has different eyes on stage,
A friend who is more shining on stage than others,
A friend who looks cold when he doesn’t say anything but in the reality he is more kind than others.
A friend who rarely shows his feeling but takes care of his little brothers and co-workers silently.

He is a boy who loves Korea and wants to get to know Korea.
You all know that it's hard to live without friends and relatives in a strange country, right?
We say it’s "Our country" as we live and exist in the country, don’t we?

For Jaebum, Korea is already 'Our country'.
Please give him a hug again when he overcomes everything and returns.

You must come back…you are as strong as you are weak.
Get over it and come back to work together again…my friend…'

'Letter from Jaebum's friend in Korea

Hello this is Jaebum's friend who was in the same class with him and I would like to share how Jaebum lived at the time.

Jaebum moved to study at our class for his 3rd year in high school. There was nothing special. I just heard that he was a JYP trainee from USA. I regarded him as an ordinary student. At first, he could not adjust himself to Korean cultures and barely spoke Korean. Jaebum was not in acquaintance with friends and preferred to be alone. As time passed, he could finally get along with friends. We played basketball together. He seemed to be fond of physical education class the most. Since he had to part from his family and friends who he used to hang out and practiced dancing with in the States, he looked lonely at times. He was living by himself in a tough conditon as a trainee in Korea.

Jaebum had a lot of things to do. He usually practiced singing during his free time or writing rap lyrics. He loved to go to the gym the most. I remembered inviting him for lunch but he rejected and only ate food with protein nourishment. How pity he was then. We were in the same basketball team. The friends in our class used to sing birthday songs to him. When we graduated, Jaebum was trained full time at his company and one day he boasted to me that he was put into a group, 2PM and would be on national televisions. I knew that he worked so hard before he debuted with his first album.

Not only Jaebum, I heard that all JYP trainees and staff also worked so hard. Even though Jaebum had extreme tight schedules, during the second album promotion, he could come and join our alumni party. I was happy to see his confidence and shine coming from him which was different from the time he was still just a trainee where his future was in doubt. He told me that he liked Boom-hyung. Boom-hyung is a fun person who takes care of him so well. I knew that he was living a happy life at the time.

But, for the past few days, there were a controversial of Jaebum's offending comments from his myspace. All those efforts he put were shattered in the blink of an eye. I tried to call him because I was so concerned. He told me he was at the airport and about to leave for USA. I asked if he'll ever come back. He said how could he when so many people hate him this much...

As a friend of Jaebum, there is nothing I can do. I can only let him leave like that. His flight left at 6:30pm. I can only wish that he go back to have a better life with his family. Even in the US, I wish he still carry on and fulfill his dream. I would like to thank you all who loved my friend. Jaebum Fighting!

"Now I think I have become a real Korean"
"I'm proud to be Korean"
"The Republic of Korea"
"Korean people are like stars, they dress so well comparing to me I dress like a pauper. Oh no, yes I am a pauper."
"I'm not familiar with English now, isn't it funny? Haha"
These messages were written by Jaebum in 2006.

Looking at those messages, you can see that his attitude has changed.
He said he was proud to be Korean and he truly love Korea.

Please believe him.
Please don't judge him only by the message he wrote when he was a struggling trainee (4 years ago)
Please...'

'Support letter from the Wild bunny production team

.....Although they were busy with overseas activities and must have been
exhausted, Jaebum would always come in before the mannager to greet us,
and tell us that he had read the outline for the episode.. reciting it for us.
And even though maitaining the idol image must have been important to him, he was
always the first to just let loose (be funny).
He would come talk to us (who have a fear of talking to famous people) and always start
the conversation.
Even though he didn't have to worry about the ratings, he would worry about it with us.
Even though his interview was over, he would share snacks with us and wait for us to
finish filming...

When the filming involved eating, and the production team couldn't eat,
but they had to eat, they always felt bad and didn't know what to do..
and amongst the members, Jaebum was always the one that smiled and tried to
lift the energy of his fellow members who were tired and exhausted from the
crazy schedules.. '

'Message from the writer of 'Hot Blood' (the first show Jaebum ever did..)

I can't believe the first program that you had to do
was 'Hot Blood' even though you didn't adapt to the
Korean culture at the time...

Now that I think of it, everything that you had to go through
at the island.. it must have been so hard....

We had to make you sing traditional Korean songs (pan sori)
make you wear army uniforms and crawl around the mud
Teach you the basics of dado (tea ceremony) and etiquette...
make you work until your voice became hoarse...
I can't believe those were all part of your first debut program...

And the fact that I was the writer that created this harsh program.....

Although I am very sad and my heart is breaking,
I think it was a good thing..
that even though you had to go through all that,
you worked hard, tried to learn more..
and in the process, I believe that you have grown and matured...'

' .
I'm a highschool schoolmate of Jaebum
When communities such as xan*** and mys**** was in boom
if we look at it by age it was during Year 11? Year 12 of high school?
It is quite sad that things written during those times in private to a best friend is recieving such public criticism

Firstly, it needs to be pointed out, idol groups such as those in Korea at the moment are not very popular
amongst US senior high school students

In Korea and Japan, groups such as Back Street Boys and N'Sync make platinum hits
but in America at the moment, boy idol groups are targeted at primary school/junior highschool girls

If you go around humming a Backstreet Boys song
you get asked if that is Backstreet Boys and get teased.
While America seems relatively open minded, I think that if you come to know it, there is bad prejudice

Jaebum was a popular kid ever since high school.
He formed a b-boy crew that was relatively famous amongst peers and performed as the main member
and during lunch times, there were always kids that surrounded Jaebum at the lunch table.
He was a kid that played a lot and of course had a lot of talent too.

From what I know, Jaebum participated in the JYP audition after being recommended by his aunt.
Because he had a talent that was too good to be wasted.

Jaebum also agreed to the audition because it was a way for him to use his talent
and not long after he got accepted, he left for Korea.

Not having attended school in Korea, he would have not have had anyone he knew
And as he did not fit in witht he culture of his Korean peers, he wouldn't have been able to talk to them

On top of that, at an age when you should be laughing lots and chatting while shopping with friends and secretly drinking beer
he was always stuck in practice rooms like a bird in a birdcage, training til he was tired.
it would have been inevitable that he was stressed

Also, as a kid who liked to break dance and rap
with guys who wore loose shirts and loose pants, and liked to chat like crazy
he must have felt lost being quickly arranged to be in a boygroup that used be rejected by his friends.

And if I must point something else out, I'm not sure if all of America is like this but in the Seattle that I lived in, and Jaebum lived in, you wouldn't even dream of wearing clothes like those of current Korean idols or wear smoky eye makeup because you would be told that you looked homosexual.

For kids who started to classify themselves as gangster (that's the same concept as 'iljin' in Korea) and behaved rough (Jaebum was close to this group), it would be insufficient to say it would be awkward to wear wearing eye makeup, to shape your eyebrow and to wear tight jeans.

In a time when you're under such stress,
and at the high school age when you want to experience everything
Does it become such a big crime
to complain about the hardships of your personal situation to the one friend you can depended on?

If it was you would you be able to leave your present
And be satisfied and enjoy 5 years in a far land by yourself
where you cannot speak the language?

Jaebum does not hate Korea like you all may think
But could it not be that...…
(Sorry, I don’t really understand this part. Something about earning money in Korea as an American citizen and the courage for leaving everything for a new start)

I am not a fan of 2pm's Jaebum, but as the friend JAY PARK of Seattle I am very heart broken.
What do you mean quit (quitting from 2pm), I think that is something that doesn't make sense.
Are you trying to making someone who has just overcome living in unfamiliar surroundings and is only just standing at the start line hate Korea forever by burying him with criticism by netizens and making him return to America

Reading translated posting…
They were really ridiculously translated negatively.
You could become writers.
Just don't be translators.

Only until recently when I read replies about Jaebum
Comments like ‘'an American', ‘'disappointing', 'go back to America you Yankee b*tch'’
Were among the most liked replies (in some Korean sites you can "like" comments kind of like on Facebook)

but now that a statement about quitting has come up
Comments like 'it's a shame', 'we're sending away a talented man'’
Are becoming the most liked replies... Is it hypocrisy...
Are you giving disease and now offering a remedy (this is a Korean saying )'

'How tough Jay has been through... (Dameunkkol )
On the program 'Let's Sleep Here Tonight' which aired on December 26th, 2008; during an interview section where each 2PM member had to tell their story based on the given topic, Jay talked about his topic, "4 years" which refers to his 4 years in Korea. He revealed the difficulties with living, his feelings towards his mother... and the hardships for a teenager to get through those moments.

While Jay was sharing his story, Taecyeon and Junsu also added that Jay did have a very difficult time then. Jay was not good at Korean and he couldn't get used to Korean food. Jay even cried himself to sleep every day during that time.

However, we can see that Jay is really working hard now. He has reflected on himself and apologized. Somehow, some people aren't accepting his apology and even try to look over his true attention. It's not whether he can speak Korean accurately or not, it's his heart that matters.'

'From Jaebum's Cyworld:
2007.11.16: Frustrated.

2006.10.10: Frustrated.
I want to die.

2006:10.06: Lonely
Why does being alive not feel like so?'
--->to have perservered after feeling like that...for so long....is RESPECT.

more school friend letters:

'Hello
I’m Park Jaebum’s high school mate. Although we weren’t in the same class, he was a friend I cared very much about.
I can’t write very well, so T-T

The Jaebum I knew was more sincere/honest than anyone else and a kid with many dreams.

Usually people who dream of becoming stars show off but Park Jaebum wasn’t any different from any other Korean high school student. He was just good at exercising and dancing, loved music. At first, none of us could imagine that he was a JYP trainee.

And no matter how tired he was or how much he had to train, he still faithfully came to school.
He did all his work and as this attitude of learning was really beautiful, he was a kid that the teachers really looked after and cared for.

Although his Korean was awkward and he was far from his parents and lonely in another country, even when he looked tired or upset, he’ll still help us friends and joke around with us as normal. Every time he did that he’ll say he’s okay and give us a friendly punch going ‘what sup yo man’, smiling shyly.

When I first saw him, he was very quiet, and down, and just looked as if life was very tough for him. As time passed, because I became envious of this diligent boy that was working hard towards his dreams, it seemed like I was studying harder thanks to him.

And I was a little chubby, so whenever I saw Jaebum, I would tell him that he has a great body and that I was envious. Then he told me "I’ve been looking at you. You’re tall so first, let’s study then go exercising with me and we can both lose weight together" and praised me by saying "You look much better after losing weight and getting a good body".

There was a couple who just passed the 1000 day mark of dating and the guy asked Jaebum to sing a song and plan the celebration event. Jaebum made a nice rap and took care of the event.

Of course Jaebum was wrong, but to us, his friends, Jaebum was never the bad kid you guys have made him out to be. Please try to understand that.

I was really upset so I went out drinking with my friends. Although I don’t know when we’ll meet again, Jaebum will always been in our hearts, the guy always running towards his dreams. That is Jaebum.

I really wish that everyone wouldn’t hate him and try to understand that Jaebum was indeed really lonely in another country but he worked hard and did his best to fit in.

Even a guy would be jealous of this cool guy Jaebum.
Jaebum, I wish you would rise from this incident and become an even greater person

#2 Posted on Hottest fancafe

Hello. I’m Jaebum’s classmate from school.
Firstly, I would like to tell everyone what kind of life Jaebum led.
Jaebum transferred into our school during the third year of high school.
He wasn’t special, looked like any other student and we heard that he came to be a trainee in JYP after receiving a phone call in America. He couldn’t adapt to the Korean way of life then and his Korean wasn’t good.
At first, he was having trouble adapting and liked being by himself.
As time passed, he made friends and played basketball with him and was a friend that loved exercise period the most.
But away from his friends and family, after leaving his friends who danced and played with him to come here, he passed his trainee life in loneliness.

I remember he always had a lot of things to prepare, studied music diligently, was always writing rap lyrics and building his body. When we said "Let’s go eat lunch" during lunch time, he would say he was fine and only ate protein.
Although life was tough for him, he would celebrate our birthdays with us and come together to play basketball with us. This was his high school life. After graduating, going out into society and entering university, I was proud when I finally saw him performing on TV with a group called 2PM. I heard that he worked really hard to get the first album out. Not just Jaebum but the whole JYP family worked hard. Soon, the second album came out and he was really busy. We had a school gathering somewhere during album promotions and ate together. When I saw Jaebum again, he was more cheerful and more confident than before, which was really great. He told us Boom-hyung treated him well, was nice and how he liked him.

So just when I was thinking that he looked like he was doing fine, news surfaced about the criticism he was getting because of the words he typed on his myspace page and in a short moment, everything Jaebum worked hard for collapsed.
I called him, told him not to worry too much, but after 2 days, he announced he was leaving. I was really worried so I called him and he said he was already at the airport and leaving for America. When I asked if he was coming back, he said "How do I come back when the people here hate me so much?"

I was upset that I couldn’t do anything as Jaebum’s friend and had to send him of like that… He left on the 6:30 plane. I hope Jaebum will have a good time with his family in America, and fulfil the dreams that he was intent on fulfilling, even in America.
Thank you for the many people how showed love to my friend Jaebum during this period.

Jaebum-ah, cheer up!

#3 2PM’s gallery

Although it’s amusing that I’m writing a message in such a place when I’m so old I didn’t know any other fancafes besides this one so I’m leaving a message here. I’m Jaebum’s high school friend Seo JaeHyeok (I can’t reveal my school, right?)

Actually, we weren’t really friends. I only ever studied when I was in high school..being prudent. I’m now a university student, and because I’ve been preparing for my examinations, I don’t really use the internet but I’m using it now because of the news Jaebum….just thinking about this whole thing as a classmate in his high school gets me frustrated. I would like to share something I know about Jaebum and hopefully it’ll help everyone look at him differently.

Being prudent/cautious, I haven’t got many friends, and only cared about my studies. But because my friends were really nice in high school, I never felt lonely. Jaebum was really nice to me too. During the English assessment, everyone will pair off with their good friends but when I didn’t have a partner, I’ll was just practicing by myself in the school’s office during English period when Jaebum came and offered to be my partner (Please don’t misunderstand. Jaebum was a diligent student even in school. He wasn’t a student that used his trainee status as an excuse to skip school).

And. When he got his Korean ID card, he was so proud of it. (When I used the term ‘Korean ID card’, I confused many of you… it wasn’t really a Korean ID card, more of a domestic residence card for overseas Koreans..but Jaebum kept calling it his Korean ID card so I wrote it as that.. It wasn’t a Korean ID card…but it really looked like one..) He put his Korean ID card (domestic residence card) in his wallet where it could be most clearly seen.

I don’t have a way with words so I can’t really write the things I want to say about Jaebum down. Such a pity.. Although it’s been a long time since we last contacted each other As a person who knows how much Jaebum had to go through to become a singer, I feel really sad. I wish he’ll come back cheerfully

Thank you for reading this at such a late time.

#4

I’m Jaebum’s classmate during his third year of high school. I’m writing this not to cover up for the words he wrote on an online community nor am I rationalizing his behavior. I would just like to give everyone a little more understanding to Jaebum as a person and cheer Jaebum on.

When Jaebum first transferred to our school, he looked like those characters you’ll see in a manhwa and gave off a cold image with his thick eyebrows, single eyelids, wide eyes and fair skin. Although he was short, his firm body and solid muscles made him the envy of the boys in our class. When we asked why he came to Korea, he said he was a trainee in JYP and dreamt of becoming a singer.

Jaebum wasn’t ashamed of those words, and during lesson time or break time, I often saw him writing rap lyrics, humming songs, practicing raps and beatboxing. He would train too late at night yet come to school on time and he would never reveal how tired he was or what a hard time he was going through. I don’t know whether it was because he couldn’t fit in yet or because he felt like doing it but Jaebum didn’t eat much during lunch period. One day, when everyone was going off to eat during lunch period, Jaebum was doing pushups while listening to music and I noticed a crumpled notebook open in his bag. He wrote Park Jaebum in his broken hangul and in round brackets, wrote Jay Park. I realized then, that he missed America a lot. Yet it is heartwarming when I see him writing his name in Korean and his awkward Korean.

Although the Korean he wrote in his notebook had bad grammar, he wrote quite a lot of rap lyrics. Jaebum was a thorough kid, he never slacked off during training and trained himself well. If he ever made a mistake, he would blame himself and get all guilt ridden. I cheered him on when he debuted as 2PM’s leader although we were never that close. I have never thought that he wasn’t qualified to be their leader.

Sometimes he would show everyone his B-Boy skills during break time, or he would just burst into rap or beatboxing in school. When I see that I wonder how long he practiced to do all this things so naturally. And the huge blisters on his hands are the scars of the tough training he underwent. Jaebum was especially sensitive to the mistakes that he made so I have an inkling of how he must have felt when this whole thing blew up. To this kid who still doesn’t know Korean culture very well suddenly becoming a hot issue on the internet, where countless of reports and rumours are written about him, showing the bad side of the netizens and how Koreans blow things up, he must have been really guilt ridden about this whole issue, afraid that he will ruin 2PM’s image, afraid that it might leave scars on the 2PM members who were as precious to him as life itself. I can imagine the fear that kept piling up within him the past few days. That’s why he left the 2PM members whom he loved and treasured like life itself.

Jaebum sometimes talked about his younger brother (Jaehan?..I can’t remember his name) but he didn’t go into details so I’m not sure but whenever it was his brother’s birthday, he would write a letter with some scribbling/drawings. Even when he joined university, the place Jaebum would go back to on days like his brother’s birthday wouldn’t be the loving arms of his family but to the practice room or the lonely hostel. Throughout all these, Jaebum never showed how tired or discontent he was so when news of him criticizing Korea came out, I was shocked.

Whenever he wrote his name on books or things he never wrote "Jay" but ‘Park Jaebum’ in his awkward handwriting. When I think of the cheerful Jaebum in high school now, I get really upset and frustrated. I will always support Jaebum. Although I don’t approve of the things Jaebum wrote on the online community, I do believe that Jaebum’s attitude towards Korea has improved. When Jaebum returns, I’ll meet him in the airport smilingly.

Whether you criticize or not it’s up to your own opinion. You might think it’s wrong for me to speak up but everyone, you have hurt his friends too with the words you typed so lightly. I know that you’ve also criticized 2PM’s fans, Wooyoung and his classmates for covering up for his crimes (although I hate to use such a word to describe it). But if your own friend was suffering in this situation would you just stand back? Of course I’m not praising Jaebum for what he did, but as a friend, and as someone who knows that Jaebum isn’t like that, shouldn’t I cheer him on? Do you just keep quiet, not defending a friend when he’s in trouble?

What I’m most afraid of is that Jaebum, who has begun to like Korea, now leaves with an even worse impression of Korea than before. You can say anything you want about what I wrote but I won’t delete this message. I hope Jaebum would cheer up and come back as 2PM’s leader once again showing everyone your cheerful smile.'

oh man...i just started crying again copying and pasting those letters into this blog...T__T

Evidence against how legit jay's departure being his sole decision really was:

This is from From Taiwan PTT-Oneday Board, and the original articles were from oneday-room South Korea:

By Cube vocal instructor
Briefly saying a few words
I’m a vocal instructor at Cube Entertainment, my teacher is the vocal instructor at JYP
I had been a substitute for JYP a number of times
The conclusion
It is true that Jay himself said he wants to leave
The company was responsible
To get the words they want
They had a talk with every single member and ask in a way like "So now what?"
But the funny thing is, no one in the company was trying to get Jay back…
The members don’t have any saying, the managers don’t know what kind of position they have in this situation
And JYP had no intention of bringing Jay back
Although all the recording for the new album is finished, all 7 members recorded
The discussion right now is
Either have the 6 members continue, or add a new member, or combine Oneday
Right now this is the case during the discussion
And today AM cancelled all of their activities
For now it seems like the third one, combine Oneday seems the most reasonable and powerful
The conclusion basically means that they’re throwing Jay away
"Just let such a talented kid left like that? If I’m the director I won’t do that"
"You think everything will be ok just because Jay is gone?"
A lot of the vocal instructors asked the company and all the other members these questions
Because of this matter, all the trainees panic too
This is the truth we can believe

(From the author)
Don’t count on JYP anymore, the only method we have right now is to release the information to the media
No one, Not a single person gave Jay the encouragement he needed
"Don’t worry about them, we can do this, together"
This kind of words, no one said it
Also, not bringing Jay back is already decided.

From a friend who has contact with JYPE
I had been thinking about this, should I really post this message
Because I didn’t hear this directly
Am I allow to spread the words through my fingers with something I heard?
But to me, since I heard it, shouldn’t I be doing something about it?
This is not something we can just watch and listen anymore
That’s why, I decided to post this

9/7/09 around 10PM
A close friend of my knows someone from JYPE
Because he knows I’m a Jay fan so he contacted me
Although I heard the night before that Jay must withdraw, but I still don’t believe it completely
My close friend say: it’s not fully decided yet, let’s wait a bit longer
So I kept the thought of "No way, it’s not possible!" and waited
At the time I was thinking, it is not the right time to spread out messages like this easily
I never thought this evening would be like this
Now I think carefully about it, if I wrote down everything I know what happened, would it help? That’s why I decided to write this

First day 9/5
At the beginning JYP totally didn’t expect the situation will be this bad
They thought things will be better if they just wrote a apology letter, so that’s what they did
Until now, they haven’t had the thought of letting Jay withdraw, not at all
So they let Jay participated in the Incheon Korean Music Festival
But after that, things gradually became larger that made JYP to have a urgent meeting.

Second day 9/6
The outcome of the meeting in JYP was: "should we let Jay withdraw?"
It was said that half of the staff who attended the meeting agreed
So the called in members one by one to have a talk
Including Jay, they asked all the members: "what should we do now? What can we do to calm everything down!?"
It was true they asked the members’ point of view
They also gave Jay the concept impression of " Shouldn’t you walk out on your own in a situation like this right now?"
The conclusion is Jay held all responsibilities, members had no choice but to agree
(Because members don’t have the stand or power)
In this process, couple members had huge conflicts with the company

Third day 9/7
Jay decided to withdraw, go back to the States, he already booked the tickets and is packing
Up to that day I still felt there is no way they would let Jay go
In order to calm all the fans, JYP had a interview (said Jay would not withdraw), and the reports are coming out
That night, I received a call from the contact
"Jay is withdrawing, he already booked the ticket flying back to Seattle."

But because of the reports from JYP, I only half believed it
I heard two choices
"A possibility that Jay will withdraw, or he will take a break throughout this new album, and the possibility of coming back later."
But my friend told me, there is a above 90% chance that he will withdraw
He also told me, tomorrow is the day, the most accurate report will release tomorrow

Last day 9/8
That day, reports confirming what JYP released the day before was false
But whoever read those articles already knew
Completely different content such as "Haven’t made any decisions yet, still discussing"
All these were different from the report earlier stating "There is no such thing as letting Jay withdraw"

Holding the feelings of anxiety until 11:30pm and once again, I received a call
" Jay decided to withdraw, related information will be out shortly"
Jay’s article was posted on the fancafe at 11:59

So far this is what I have heard
Conclusion is that Jay doesn’t want to quit, but his company inducted him, gave him the pressure and had this result
Even though there are a lot of related articles
But at the moment, in JYPE there is absolutely no thoughts of letting Jay come back again.
In fact, JYP himself have no control over this, he is only specialized in producing the album
The management team of the company (all the managers) also had no power to make any remarks.
If you want Jay to come back, we need to put pressure on JYPE

between this time, on the 13th of September the korean fans did a massive silent protest...2000 fans showed up outside the JYP building in Seoul, sat there for hours, returned their CDs....heartbreaking...

Letter from a family friend

'....For the past 5 years, no one knows how much Jaybum suffered from frustration and hard work, and so many times when he so much wanted to go back to Seattle, he always fixed his mindset and practiced for long hours, but now right as he gained so much popularity, he escaped to seattle in just 4 days, and that really breaks my heart.
Coming home from Korea, for those long hours on the plane, how much did he have to suffer and think in his mind?

In the beginning of August, I remember when Jaybum came to Seattle for a quick visit. Because Jaybum's immature younger brother was not listening to him, I remember what Jaybum said to him.

"I want to go out and meet my friends like you and go out and have fun like you but do you know why I am going through all of this and working hard? Its because of you and our parents! Why can't you be more thoughtful of what you do!"...

...In the car I asked my daughter who is the same age as Jaybum "Yuri! What does 'Korea is gay' mean?" "It means that Korea is stupid or annoying, we say it when we're tired or annoyed".

Even when my daughter and I fought when she went through her teenage years, she used the word 'hate' a lot. "Dad i hate you!" Just because she said that would i have to kick her out of the house?

During that time, I believe that Jaybum did not understand the Korean culture, and had a hard time adjusting, while the people who translated what Jaybum said on his myspace translated in a very wrong way because they don't know that that is just how teenagers speak in America.
I don't understand how what he wrote as a teenager has anything to do with betraying Korea in any way.

How can someone who really hated Korea work so hard for their family so they can live better lives?....

Right now, Jaybums parents are in panic mode, and do not pick up the phone if it not someone they know.

Jaybum visited his old breakdancing studio when a black kid recognized him and put a camera up to his face and so he had to hurry up and just go home.

He hasn't even been able to go to the church he went to all his life because he's still embarassed and guilty and disappointed in himself, so he hasn't been going out anywhere and just been staying home.
Seeing all of this, i feel so bad for him and am heart broken.

Last saturday, my family and Jaybum's family went to a friend's chinese restaurant in order to brighten everyones mood. Although he wasn't jumping for joy, being his first dinner outside since he came to Seattle, we had a good time and Jaybum's mood got a little better and more comfortable.

I asked him "Jaybum, do you wanna go back to Korea?"

"yes..but i'm not sure."

the poor kid is afraid. to feel goods about himself, to go out in public....

and most recently, the statement that JYP released last night [translated]...my heart sank. and i dont even know what to think..

'talked to JYPE staffs, 2PM members, and JAEBUM about our future plans. First of all, although many people have sent their encouraging words to JAEBUM, he hasn’t changed his mind; thinking he made a huge mistake. He said that he is still very sorry and too ashamed to be on the stage. He also told me that since other 2PM members have worked so hard, they should not be affected by this in any negative ways. That’s why he left 2PM so quickly.

I think the same way as JAEBUM. The reason why I didn't stop him from leaving is because I thought whether Jay being in 2PM or not now won’t be that big deal when you look at his life as a whole. Some think 4 years of his hard working has been destroyed, but his skills that were built up in 4 years are still remained in his body.

If JAEBUM receives a chance to grow up and become more mature by this incident, he will be able to fly even further later on. As criticism against Jay was way too harsh, requesting to revoke Jay's resignation is asking for too much as well. It’s my role to respect his opinion wanting to have his time alone apart from the stage, and help him later when he says he wants to be on the stage again.

I think you should give him supports by then. Again, I apologize for not being able to manage and protect him well. We'll try our best to not make this happen again

Thank you again,
2PM will continue their schedule with 6 members as it was planned
JYP'

i still smell a fish. there is no promise of jay being allowed back into 2pm, or into JYP. but for now i assume he is still under contract and ashamed of himself, given no word...the only things heard from Seattle are from his friends [who, eventually get spammed out by psycho fans on youtube]:

'Like i said on the other videos everything my homie Jay said was 5 years ago. when he moved out there it was a different experience and he was just homesick. it was purely being an ignorant 18 year old in which he has already apologized. of course he loves korea, he loves his fans country and gained a whole new appreciation for the culture. Jay was telling me yesterday that the only thing saving his career right now are his fans. show some support and cut the dude a break hes only human.

thank the world for people like you. to be honest im not a kpop fan at all. im just really good friends with jay hes like a brother and to see something like this happen to him just really hurts to see. people need to understand he was young, naive and out of his element. he knew very little about the culture and environment.

hes out here seattle w/friends and fam and hes thankful for all his fans doing this for him. he said himself the people who will save his career are his fans.

- Chico"

This is injustice at its best. to have everything you have strived for....the thought of working hard for your family/friends/bboy crew...being your drive to succeed.....im so sad for him. i have never cried for a 'celeb' before....not even when the yunho glue-poisoning incident occured a few yrs back did i cry...but this has affected me so badly. jay is human, just like anyone else...nobody is perfect, everyone slips up...

iv followed this so closely over the past week...and the korean and international fans have decided to boycott all 2pm activities...because without one, 2pm isnt complete. now that the JYP statement has been released, it isnt so clear anymore...risk that with time as they do better as 6 member group, jay will be forgotten. so should they boycott? but if so...does that jeopardise the careers of the other 6 boys? no promises made in another vague msg by JYP.

i dont know what to think anymore. its been 10 days since jay left korea. i still can't think straight, and everytime i think about this in any detail i start crying....T____T

will update this as i find more information...

EDIT [Sept 20th]: my computer keeps telling me that jay is on 2OD right now. oh my goodness. excitement rising.

EDIT [Sept 21th]: now there has been news junho came onto 2OD also!....and said that even if jay can't talk, he said to keep fighting....oh my goodness. something is going DOWN!......i was online the same time as 'junho' for the 2nd time...but then 'he' posted a note on the forums saying it wasnt junho. WDH im getting so confused.

EDIT [Sept 22nd]: so apparently jay posted on his daum fan cafe...however apparently the IP address is from korea. meaning jype either wrote it pretending to be him, he got someone to write his actual thoughts out, or the IP being in korea thing is bogus. im confused as hell....not to mention he spelt 'everybody' wrong twice. and im pretty sure he knows how to spell that.

At 6.07pm Korean time, Jay left message at 2PM official cafe
Credit: Kor-Eng by Kirstyn@2pm-online.com, Coordinator: Cassina@2pm-online.com

(JAEBUM) Everybody ....

Everybody.....
I had a reason to leave......
JYP hyung and 2PM members are like family to me.....
They stayed by my side in a tough situation like this.....
I'm already having a hard time.....
Don't make this even harder for me please.....
I'm very sorry to make you guys worry so much....

여려분 .....

제가 떠난이유가있는데....
진영형이랑 2pm 애들은 가족 이나마찬가집니다....
이힘든시기동안 계속제곁에있었습니다.....
벌써 너무 힘든데....제발더힘들게만들지말아주세요.....
너무걱정시켜드려서너무죄송합니다...

QUOTE

CR: K-Bites

News has surfaced that 2PM ex-member Park JaeBum has left a message on 2PM official fancafe ‘Hottest’ on 21st September. But at the same while, fans are happy to have heard from JaeBum himself, many are suspicious if the message was written by JaeBum himself.

On 21st September, at about 6pm, JaeBum posted a message on ‘Hottest’ with the title ‘Everyone…’.

In the message he wrote, “There is a reason to why I left. Because I was like a family to JinYoung hyung and 2PM boys. When I was having a tough time, they were by my side. Already it is very tiring, so please do not make it hard for them. So sorry for making everyone worried.”

While many worried fans are relieved to see a message posted by him, there were fans who voiced, “Is that really Park JaeBum”.

Many reasoned, “How can someone who is in America have an IP address of that of a local Korean?”, “Is this not written by JYP themselves?”, “Is it possible that he leaves a message at this time when there is a 16 hour time difference between Seattle and Korea?”

EDIT [Sept 22nd AGAIN]: friggin now there is a wooyoung cyworld entry, which contradicts everything else he previously had hinted at in support of jay....korean fans dont believe it because he was seen alone with jyp just before the entry hit the net...and because he usually updates at midnight instead of the middle of the day -___- WTF IM SO SICK OF THIS. WTF IS JYP DOING....

Wooyoung revealed his feelings concerning fans’ strong protest against JYP Entertainment after Jaebum’s withdrawal.

At 3:59 PM on the 22nd, Wooyoung put up an entry on his Cyworld titled ‘Jaebum’s Situation’, expressing his honest opinion on fans’ actions.

He expressed his regret, writing that ‘It’s frustrating. Why don’t fans understand our hearts. Jaebum hyung’s heart, JYP hyung’s heart, and our hearts…’

This is the first time that Wooyoung revealed his heart after ‘Jaebum’s situation’

'As said before, I saw the report from the sa-sang fans (fans who stalk)...
There were expensive cars lined up in front of the JYP building. It seems like the sponsors had a meeting.
And also the order in which they entered the JYP building...Wooyoung went in quickly first, then JYP after
And then a meeting...then Wooyoung's Cyworld message comes up...'

'and the fact that wooyoung left a cy entry at an afternoon is suspicious
it was posted on 3:59 pm Korean time
but wooyoung usually updates his cy entry during midnight.'

..at the rate its going, looks like JYP doesnt want to bring jay back.

...i am WAY MORE THAN A LITTLE PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW.

EDIT [Sept 26th]: went clubbing at bubble last night. fun, but couldnt think of anything but jayjayjayjayjayyyyyy=p seriously, why is there noone as eligible as he around? i need to get myself to seattle, STAT.

word is jay receieved something like 1200 letters from korean hottest and is reading them slowly....photos of the boxes of letters taken by the pastor at his church...hope that gives him strength=] i hope he gets the international letter projects...and reads mine=D

JYP is playing sneaky bastards AGAIN and continuing with the prep for the new mv, despite reports coming out a few days ago about the mv shooting being cancelled. bleh-___- but junsu made a comment after performing on a super model contest show with junho about coming back as SEVEN. weeeeee^^ rumour has it the boys are trying to rebel working as 6, but im not sure how legit that is..

jyp is in seattle atm, so iv heard. praying for the best.....=S

uh...call me stupid, call me deluded....but i miss him so much T______________T

EDIT [Oct 2nd]: itd been 24 days since jay left korea. and i cant believe its only been 3 weeks; its felt like friggin ETERNITY. and its killing me. one can only imagine how the other boys in 2pm feel....but its horrible, and i have so much coming up with uni and tkd etc yet all i can do is think abt this issue. 24/7...i keep dreaming of them...T___T

so much has happened over the past week. the international fan banner saying, "J, WHAT TIME IS IT?", which i helped donate to [cost around $2000..and an AUSTRALIAN fan organised it...respect to her!] flew over seattle on the 28th, and unfortunately this nice gesture got twisted badly....

Skybanner For Jaebeom From Hottests

someone tipped the local radio stations off [i dont care if you are a fan - DUMB FRIGGIN IDEA], and a local news team Komo decided to write a really incorrect, poorly written article on it. i kid u not, within the first 2 hours the article recieved mebbe 400-500 comments from angry hottests globally on it...for the article calling jay a 'disgraced' korean popstar 'hiding in edmonds', the banner for fans 'begging for him to come back'...seriously wtf. it was a support thing, nothing else....not posting the link up cuz that dude who wrote it doesnt need any more publicity than hes already getting...especially since hes refused to take the article down.

it gets worse....Komo decided to do a news report on it and actually went to jays house and knocked on his door nd tried to get an interview. and showed his house on seattle tv. WTF. poor boy...his only sanctuary away from this crap, he was already afraid of being recognised outside of korea...and now ppl who arent even fans know what his house looks like. and what he looks like. ARGGH so ANGRY>.<

couldnt concentrate all week because of this. jyp apparently met up with jay in seattle on the 30th, now i dont know what is going to happen. 2pm is performing as 6 at the dream concert on the 4th...man. i wonder how the korean fans are going to react...

sigh i was trying so hard not to cry in the library that day of the banner, made me shake + get palpitations. this is really unfair to him...how can someone who worked SO hard be wronged like this.
this video of a korean cartoon translated about jays story nearly made me cry...its so apt:

ahh and then recieving my 2pm cds in the mail...made me cry again T__T especially when i read jay's thankyou section: "First of all i would like to thank the Lord Almighty without him none of this would be possible..." guh. his faith makes him all the more attractive....and "To everyone in my thanks to LOVE and Respect from the heart lets make this world a better place be better people R.E.S.P.E.C.T" that broke me...

i miss this kid. SO much....T_________T

EDIT [Oct 4th]: BREAKING NEWS.....JYP IS AN IDIOT. ok...so that part isnt such breaking news. but i just recieved word that jyp is still playing dodgy bastards. i dont understand his business mentality. its just plain STUPID.

the news is...photos have been floating around the net in the last day of junho and junsu in the recording studio - now confirmed that they are recent photos, and are of the boys RERECORDING jays parts for the new album. SO...this is how it goes. jyp is testing everyone...if 2pm do well WITHOUT jay....jyp is NOT taking jay back. if 2pm DONT do well without jay...jay has a chance to come back.

so this means....the new comeback album is going to be a TEST. the performances without jay will be a TEST to see if ppl can and will forget about jay.....stupidest thing ever, but if this is truth then its BOYCOTT all the way...

ahh. the gorilla has some serious issues.

EDIT [Oct 4th again]: found translated bdae msgs to jay on his bdae this yr...again showing how hard he tried in everything he did T___T gahhh jyp -__-:

TAEC: “Jay hyung! keke! I know you just don’t like us stop calling you “hyung.” Okay. Today I’ll call you hyung more. In the past you just hate Hangul but I know you’re trying your best now. Yes, I see you everyday but I just can’t express what I wanted to tell you. Heh heh that’s why I have decided to tell you here instead. Happy birthday Jay baby! A year older too! but I still love you! Stop acting cool and strong when you’re not at times. But I can feel your sadness, just that you just don’t share with any of us. Please stop it! Share with us! With me?”

KHUN: “Jay baby ~~~ lalala my baby~~hey stop acting strong! I’m glad to know you. Probably your English is better than your Korean lol that’s why I can understand you better. Let’s study Hangul, and I hope one day you can surpass me haha. Thanks for being such a great leader and helped us when we needed to. Please can we help each other? We love you!”

WOOYOUNG: “Hey hey hey yo! My birthday’s coming but I’m still younger than you (cheeky smiles) you’re sleeping on your bed now. I’m jealous… Why? I’m tired but I just want you to be happy and who don’t love our mighty Jay? I’m going to join with you soon. Thank you Taec for translating”

JUNHO: “I envy you. You’re so confident in your work. I’ve never seen you give up. Why are you so confident? Because of you, I’m getting stronger now. When I told you I’ve never slept on the floor before, without a word, you let me sleep in your big bed. You’re so kind and a great leader.I respect and love you hyung.”

JUNSU: “Hey man! I’m trying to improve my English. What can I say about you, hyung? Your talented, charismatic and so much mroe. I like to sing with you again soon. How’s your sleep now? Thumbs up, you’re great!”

CHANSUNG: “I like to play with hyung. No one wants to play with me but it’s really nice to play with you. You may sound angry sometimes but I know you are not serious. (laughs) Thanks hyung for so much. I love you hyunnie! May you dream us in your dreams now! Happy birthday!”

EDIT [Oct 11th]: its been over a month now. and jays still not back. and jyp is still not saying anything on the matter. NOT FUNNY. although what was funny is someone changed wikipedia briefly and said that JYP turned into a gorilla from September this year. HAHA...changed back now though.

anyway. Dream Concert was last night [if you dont know - its a large concert where all the idol stars and some older stars beform]...2pm performed without jay, and the performance wasnt aired, AGAIN...-___- khottest planned a boycott of the concert to try and make an impact on jyp, but still left up banners and increased their charity drives to compensate + support 2pm.

"Some Hottests and IAMs were present inside Dream Concert. It was estimated that there were about 30 IAMs and 130-150 Hottests out of 40,000 fans. This is not including the Hottests who were sent to protect the banners inside, the hottests who protected and posted the banners outside, and the hottests who had a project going on outside (ie post-it walls)."

mmm...twitter went crazy with photos. and yeah, it just isnt the same without jay...huge gap in the centre. what was more bittersweet is that none of the boys took over jays singing parts...they just danced to the music as the fans chanted jays name.

" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/twitpic/photos/full/35196889.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0ZRYP5X5F6FSMBCCSE82&Expires=1255217984&Signature=pRz%2F8SVSXamPgjtqAI7PGHmFVuY%3D">

look at that huge gap. it looks wrong. and they look tired.

so many people were chanting for jay...40,000 people approx. chanted jays name: "Because there were only about 200 Hottests on site out of 40,000 fans, it is not possible that Hottests did all those chanting. Other fanclubs helped. "<3

"2PM's stage as a 6 membered group has been unfolded.

On the 10th at Seoul World cup Stadium 2PM preformed at the '15th I love Korea Dream Concert'.

On the the day the 6 membered 2PM without JAEBUM preformed 'Again and Again' and 'I Hate You'. As JAEBUM was not present at the Dream concert during 2PM's song the 40,000 fans raised the voices as one shouting Jaebeoms name.

Also 2PM's fans have done a charity volenteer fair on the same day as the 'Dream Concert' for the withdrawal of JAEBUM.

On the day the 6 membered 2PM said 'It's been a long time since we've been on stage.. We will do the best we can'."

audio of people yelling jays name: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpjRbE3lv78

so bittersweet. 난 널 너무그리워해!!! and i cant stop dreaming. for the past month 2pm and/or jay has been incorporated into my dreams some way or another nearly every single night. its weird, sad and...guess shows how much i think about this. sigh.

EDIT [Oct 11th again]: just found a fancam of the boys performing without jay...omg they really DIDNT cover any of his parts...so u can hear jays voice really clearly>.< and they left a gap where he should be. omg....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E57oPaeuqnc i cant believe i started crying again....T____T

EDIT [Oct 15th]: so pretty much the entirety of monday and tuesday and today was spent crying. thanks to rewatching dream concert fan cams, and hotblood episodes. every time i watched a new episode...i couldnt stop the tears. it really astounds me...the determination and hard work, and fighting spirit of all the oneday boys...how HARD mentally and physically it was on them in hot blood....and to see how quiet and hardworking jay was back then. it breaks my heart. to see how much they endured together, fought it out, supported each other. and you know...i think that is how it should be.

i ask myself at times...and when others ask...why does this affect me so much? i dont know. i really dont know. i dont know why i dream of 2pm 98% of the time...i dont know why it hits me so deeply. is it wrong of me to care for a group of boys i have never met? i believe that who we see on film is real. through their blood, sweat and tears...they have honestly been one of the biggest inspirations in my life, EVER. PERIOD. and im never forgetting about that boy with the awkward korean from seattle...

bring him back jyp. WTF are u doing....T____T

EDIT [Oct 28th]: this emotional whirlwind never ends, does it. iv been pretty lax with updating this, but i need to get some things off my chest.

friday was so friggin emotional for me i was seriously about to go insane. my resit of my oral exam i did shit on....and thinking again oh why, WHY am i doing this shit that i dont even care about. i cried all the way driving home.

more bad news to follow...about jyp continuing activities as 6pm without jay; about a stupid KBS program called 'into sunday night' pretty much using jay as a marketing tool - a video message from jay was rumoured to be released......FK. i think i went insane, i was crying non-stop.

monday night i watched infinity challenge...and was so nostalgic to see the 7 boys all together again, being HAPPY. how would they know that by the time infinity challenge was aired on tv 5 months later...that jay would be gone? ...T__T

i also watched 'into sunday night' on monday...here is the clip subbed by the time2sub team [love u guys]:

i was APPALLED. they pretty much openly stalked jay and his family in seattle. asked randoms on the street if they knew 'jaebum' and where his house was....'found' his brother and interrogated him...'found' his dad in FRONT OF THEIR HOUSE and tried to interview him....WTF. DO YOU KNOW WHAT INVASION OF PRIVACY IS KBS???!!

..they even went to his church and interviewed his pastor...as well as filming a picture of jay and his family on one of the church noticeboards.

WHAT. THE. HELL.

i love how his pastor said this: "He was a gentle child. He knows how to respect his parents, and have good relationships with other people. I think the Korean society is still sensitive about the second generation Korean-Americans. For example: the problems about the mandatory military services in Korea and also some of the mentalities of Koreans, as they think, 'You guys are living a special life in America, while we are living in a small country...' Examples like these made them [Korean society] react more sensitively about Jaebeom's problems."

pink grandpa....whyy are u such an angel....T__T

...i think my heart broke when jay appeared on camera. i know i cried, at least.
i hate how they did a stalker shot of him as he entered the recreational centre where they had followed him to. and i hate how nervous and scared he looked when he noticed the camera. and i HATE how the KBS dude followed him as he walked out of the recreation centre.

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

The show also revealed that Jaebeom had matured because of his stay in Korea. Last August in America, Jaebeom had an interview with one Korean broadcast company, and he talked about how hard his trainee days were, and how he was able to mature as he spent time in Korea. He stated, "At first it was hard. I was unfamiliar with the Korean language and the foods didn't match my taste. To be honest, for the first 2 months, I wished I was back in America." He added, "It was really hard. But I didn't want to disappoint everyone so I resisted."

After revealing the hardships he had to go through, he added, "I realized that if you work hard, you can do what you want. I am more mature now. I now wish that I should have done more for my family after I realized the importance of my family, as I was separated from them."

THIS. THIS SO MUCH. ARGGH>.<

iv heard so many rumours. the most recent one being jay's replacement. im scared...after watching jay in that clip...he looked happy. and there is no doubt that seattle is a much happier place for him than korea right now.
so if he did want to stay there, i wouldnt blame him. but in terms of career, it would mean his 4 yrs training hard would all go to waste. because seriously, who has heard of an asian becoming huge in a caucasian dominated country? i dont think so. and jay has the potential to be great. 2pm was doing INSANELY well for a rookie group this year, and they would have hit the absolute top if it wasnt for this stupid incident.

i might sound stupid...but 2pm gave me so much genuine inspiration and motivation to be better. because of jay i was getting more into a routine with study and exercise...and id run to 2pm's songs...now after that, it feels like everything has crashed. and im slowly getting fat again. sigh....

sigh. but iv decided if jyp DOES replace jay or continues forever without jay...well...i am done with JYPE for good.
i love the other 6 boys but i cant bear to see them with one missing. not to mention the incredible emotional stress and pain it has caused me over the last 2 months.

its been 58 days since jay left. i have prayed for him every, single, night, without fail. 58 days iv prayed and i hope He hears me T___T i have cried so much in the past 2 months it is not funny.

...so if this goes down badly...il NEVER forget jay, il NEVER forget the other boys...but its byebye jyp u can go to hell.

EDIT [Nov 3rd]: my exams start soon...and all this crap is still going. yesterday was so overwhemingly emotional...i cant explain. just felt like dying. so much happened in one day!! i thought i was okay to study....then the teaser came out for their album. 2od went nuts with people trying to figure out if it was jays voice we heard on the adlibs....check it for yourself:

[deleted the link...because 6pm dont need any more attention]

and its SUCH a good song...omg>.< watched another 2pm show and went crazy cuz i missed jay. all he EVER talks about on shows is how much he wants to do for his family. and so humble + modest....how can u do this to him?? HOW?

sunday more news came out regarding jay....it got spread to soompi so unfortunately was taken down from 2OD, but what i can share is this - the likelyhood of jay coming back to 2pm is slim.

VERY SLIM. and if we want him back we are going to have to fight hard. because guess what the new concept for the boys is? fkin PRETTY BOY. now....one of the reasons i liked 2pm was because they had that BEAST concept, and not generic pretty boy....its not the only reason i like them no, but it definitely set a TREND in korea, and set them apart from the rest.

now...jay is under contract. so pretty much he is a puppet to jyp...if they dont want him back, they can do whatever with him because he is under their control. and that makes me sad.
because the kid has unbelievable potential to be AWESOME...and he deserves no less....

but whats this? even though hes in seattle now, hes helpless. he cant do what he friggin wants because of this.

my feelings yesterday and the day before were pretty much this: I FKIN MISS YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS AND I CANT STAND THESE GAMES JYP IS PLAYING.

now to add on top of that...dbsk gets problems with their contract and cannot perform as 5 again because they'r blocked by SM. who apparently, is backed up by yunho + changmin and their parents. meaning i dont know, disbandment could still occur with all these rifts occuring. yeah whatever..what is this bs? MY 2 GROUPS WHO MEAN THE WORLD TO ME? who would have thought that entertainment companies could be so dark and manipulative?

i think i nearly had a nervous breakdown yesterday. i do not need to be crying this much when my exams start next week. FRIGGIN HELL.

EDIT:[Nov 4th]: okay. so heres how its going to play out. in short, 2pm [like many other korean idol groups] are severely underpaid. in 2009 from the time the debuted til now, they earnt $5000 COLLECTIVELY.this means approximately $700 each for THE ENTIRE YEAR.

on top of this...jay has some serious trainee debts towards JYP. how much? approximately 30 million won. which is approximately $30,000. WHAT? u heard me clearly. first off...the kid doesnt come from a wealthy family. he busted his ass training in korea for 4 years...to pretty much earn nothing.

all his blood, sweat, tears and LONELINESS were to earn money for his family, and rep his bboy crew. unfair much?

now before this whole myspace thing went down, jay had a massive company sponsoring him...who? SAMSUNG. and he was going to have a CF ALL TO HIMSELF. as soon as this hit, samsung dropped him. now jype is in financial trouble...so what does he do? kick jay to the curb + back to seattle, and push the other 6 boys into the CF in order to keep the samsung deal.

the bottom line is: JYP HAS NO INTENTIONS OF BRINGING JAY BACK INTO 2PM. IF JAY RETURNS, IT IS LIKELY TO TO BE IN CUBE ENTERTAINMENT AS A SEPARATE, PERHAPS SOLO ACT AWAY FROM 2PM.

THE BETTER 6PM DOES WITHOUT JAY, THE MORE INDICATIVE TO JYPE THAT JAY IS NOT NEEDED. HENCE...IF 2PM IS TO BE REUNITED...EVERYONE MUST BOYCOTT. DO NOT WATCH, DO NOT DOWNLOAD, DO NOT PAY ANY ATTENTION AT ALL TO 6PM. THEY MUST BE IGNORED.

DO NOT BE FOOLED THAT BY SUPPORTING 6PM, THAT THEY MAKE MONEY. NO. BECAUSE OF THEIR TRAINEE DEBT TO JYPE, ALL PROFITS GO TO JYP. THEY GET NEXT TO NOTHING. BY IGNORING 6PM, U HURT THE COMPANY, NOT THE BOYS.

if this is to work....there must be a UNITED front. i wish some of the people out there understood why its needed to boycott. if 6pm succeeds, we are never seeing jay again...at least, not with 2pm. and he's not going to live happily ever after in seattle away from this. why? because hes still under contract with JYP. so hes still a puppet, and will still be for 6 years after this. dont be fooled.

im sick of crying non stop over this. now its time for me to ignore 6pm and pick whats left of my life now.....because of fkin jype i have now failed my oral exams twice, may have to cancel my 2 month holiday iv already paid for, and may not graduate. yes. FK YOU.

EDIT [Nov 8th]: its been 2 months today that he left....T__T i have an exam in 1 day so no time right now to update, but here is his diary entry from hot blood translated, as well as 'one droplet in one second' lyrics and translations [from 2OD]. i cant believe i actually took the time to sit down and learn it + rap it. but i did.

Jaebum’s diary-
I wasn’t that surprised this morning…
We didn’t even do anything good and coming to the beach to play, doesn’t make sense…
Since I always exercise, it was manageable…
It seems like the teacher is very good….
Right now, at this time, it seems like I can persevere these hardships…
It’s because I suffered a lot for three years after leaving home…
It’s not like we’re even staying here…
I don’t show it, but honestly, it’s a little….
I must show strength while thinking of the people I love…
Art of Movement!
425*-206 3-10

*: Edmonds, Seattle, area code (reppin his boys back home!)

CREDITS: DAUM (SOURCE); kdrama_queen@2oneday.com (TRANS)

i dont think i know many guys who are that thoughtful of other people when they are themselves going thorough a very physically and mentally draining period. my heart breaks for u jay T___T

One droplet in one second rap lyrics

영원할줄알았어. 머리위에흰머리카락생길때까지갈것같았어. 너무아파서나도모르게눈물이여름비처럼쏱아졌어. 하루종일기다려. 네문앞에널부르면서죽을것같애. 이제는선물이랑애교로안돼. 너없이 난이제 어떡해. 너의얼굴, 니눈미소가그립고.

내가너무노력해서그냥억울할뿐. 심장반잘라간기분. 설명할수없는그런아픔. 무식하게난니전화기다려. 연락안올거뻔히알면서혼자추하게쭈구려앉아서이제널그리워할수밖에없어.

I thought it'd be forever/
To the day we had gray hair on top of our heads/

Because it hurts so much, without realizing, my tears fall like the summer rain/
I wait in front of your door all day/
As I call you, it feels like I’m going to die/
No longer can it be done with presents or me acting cute/
What am I now going to do without you/
I miss your face and smiling eyes/
I'm just frustrated because I tried so hard/
The feeling of my heart cut in half/
The type of pain I can’t explain/
I ignorantly await your call/
Even though I know you’re not going to/
Alone, I sit in an ugly, crouched position.

[credits: kdrama_queen]

the kid with the awkward korean....could write something like this? i miss u so much=[

one day; one love♥

Monday, November 30, 2009

im not a sasaeng fan...im just seriously disturbed.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

respect for privacy.

Friday, November 27, 2009

TVN news

Thursday, November 26, 2009

more reasons to love jay.

Followers

Blog Archive

About Me