Saturday, May 1, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPPY!

.:[mood]:. busy. is that a mood?
.:[musiq]:. B2ST - easy [sincere version]

im so lazy with updating this. but yes, im one day late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL!! probably my next favourite AOM boy next to jay, hes a really awesome kid, rofl. thanks to him everytime i hear justin bieber's 'baby' i will think of his freestyle clip:




win!!! hahahaha=D


and if anyone was wondering and didn't know already, the tshirt in his latest photo is the one i designed and sent him. proof here:

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my design...

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...and daniel=]


plus, i wrote my name in korean on it ['베키'] on the stereo=]



PEACE!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAY!!!♥

.:[mood]:. thinkinggg
.:[musiq]:. jay + kim chin - the last time.

ahhh im so lazy to post here. but first off,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAY!!!

finally 23 years old! ....again! HAHA. 진짜 영감이야, 난 널 언제나 사랑하고 존경할게^^

i went to bed at ~3.30-4am last night, jay's stirfryTv interview came out at 2.30am, which you can see HERE:



i was kind of hoping he would answer more questions, but i was still pretty excited to see it=] and omg PEATRY. i want a PEATRY!!!! his doggy is sooo cute!! and its adorable how he said peatry was his "pride and joy" and then kisses him^^ awww jay you are too cute.

two other videos came out last night, namely the video messages that jay left to Underground for their bdae celebration for him. he spoke in korean...and i dont know...got emotional and cried T___T so nostalgic to see him speak in korean again...

thats one downside to him being in america...we dont get to see the cute kiddy jaebom...just the cool, collected jay park. and he sounds so much more like a little boy when he speaks in korean...its adorable=] as i told genie, jay in english = 멋쟁이 [cool dude], jay in korean = 아기 [baby]...ㅋㅋㅋ hahahahaha=P

...i miss him speaking in korean. i hope he still does such things for his korean fans, its SO thoughtful of him. i love how he always thanks his fans and ACKNOWLEDGES the sheer amount of things that are done for him. appreciation is everything [not looking at any organisms, no -___-]

here is the first one where he sings for the k-bumtists and i cried=[



and the 2nd one where hes just like, "fans, i love you!"


just when i think he cant get any more amazing, he goes and does it again -__- why are you such an admirable person, jay??? keep working hard...=D

oh! its been like a few days packed with jay goodies. the collabo with dumbfoundead and clara dropped!! 'CLOUDS' - gotta say its a dope beat, i like jay and dumbfoundead's verses a lot, but clara...sorry girl, your voice isnt doing it for me.

and i love how jay is kind of....speaking out through rapping, showing he can be strong, keeping his head up and moving on. thats my boy




and FINALLY....my friend poops planted the crazy idea in my head of flying to seattle for the may 30th concert. i couldnt get it out of my head, and as you may know, i bought tickets for the show and i am DESPERATELY trying to find cover for my shifts over that week so i can fly to seattle. my manager wont let me go unless i can find cover. which sucks...so right now nothing is confirmed....but if i get it confirmed....ITS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG BABY.

too much awesome all in one night...AOM is performing, jay is performing, dok2 [GAHH!!] is performing, keroone is performing, MYK is performing, dumbfoundead is performing....ok screw jetlag i am NOT missing this for the world!!!!



please, please pray for me that i can find cover for that week. im dying to go..... T__T

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

SUPER COLLABO!!

.:[mood]:. slightly irritable.
.:[musiq]:. ra.d - couple song feat. kelly

okay. to start off, i was really excited for the dumbfounded/clara/jay collabo dropping in a few days. now, im still excited for that, but im about to go CRAZY!!! because i just found out that the map the soul crew - MYK, dok2, as well as keroone + dumbfoundead are doing a gig on may 30th with JAY IN SEATTLE.

.....why cant i be in seattle?! i love jay, i LOVE dok2, i LOVE mapthesoul and kero + dumbfoundead are hella dope. jealous jealous jealous jealous of the people who will see them! id DIE to see jay + dok2 on the same stage! OMG.....T___T someone please fly me over...

i havent posted these clips yet, but i might as well...

jay;s cover of 'can't take my eyes off of you'. now i actually like this a LOT better than the 'nothing on you' cover...his entrance is SO FRIGGIN CUTE! and i love his voice in it...he hits all the high notes so nicely♥


i LOVE his HD cam....i can see his pretty face all in high definition glory=D

his collabo with yoshi, 'successful' - sharp routine! why is he so good at everything...T__T

finally, EXTA5Y finally finished their 'nothing on you' response! please check it out here + spread=D




as for his recent bulletin post saying 'khuns rap was fire'....jay...why are you such an angel? after all they put you through? ...i wish my heart was as pure as yours.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

NEW COLLABO!!

.:[mood]:. excited!
.:[musiq]:. kutless - all the words

okay, so im getting baptised in 3 hrs, so kind of nervous for that, but im HELLA SUPER FRIGGIN EXCITED FOR THIS COLLABO RIGHT HERE; DUMBFOUNDEAD, CLARA C AND JAY!!! dropping on the 23rd, noise marketing for organisms!? HAHA....either way im really jealous of clara. and really excited to see how this turns out!



cr: dumbfoundead's youtube channel.


dumbfoundead also has connections with mapthesoul, hes friends with tablo etc...so...possible opportunity there for jay? i have my fingers crossed!!!

and as much as i try to stay neutral, i cant. i try to see if i can look at 6pm pictures or videos now, and i CANT. i just get angry. and think, what the hell is this...WHERE IS JAY!? he was by far the one that shined the most in 2PM, all bias aside....[although i still think junho has talent....but hes part of the 배신s.]... no idea what the hell they are now.....the running concept is always, take-your-top-off-and-attract-as-many-pervert-fans-as-you-can!

because you would have to be tonedeaf yourself if you think the cat or the banana thief can sing.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

DO IT ANYWAY.

.:[mood]:. thinking.
.:[musiq]:. rain - 널 붙잡을 노래

went to life group tonight; one of my friends shared this mother teresa quote. i find it very meaningful, and i dedicate it to JAY. stay amazing, 바 노인♥

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

DAMN YOU FOR BEING LOVABLE.

재범에게 빠지고 또 빠지고...arghhh. the whole world loves you.

needed to post this, it really made me smile. credits to jenny @2OD for the translations=]


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the last one killed me. seriously LUCKY!! the girl who will win his heart♥. jay your korean fail is AWESOME=D

Sunday, March 28, 2010

NOTHING ON YOU/RESPECT THE ART.

.:[mood]:. okay.
.:[musiq]:. 2AM - 웃어 줄수가 없어서 미안하다

haven't bothered updating this in a while. anyway, unless you were literally living under a ROCK for the past 2 weeks, you would have seen jay's cover of bruno mars' 'nothing on you':




i was out visiting my brother when he uploaded this onto youtube, so when i came home, i was greeted with numerous msgs of "WHERE IS BECKII?! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! JAY IS SINGING TO US ON YOUTUBE!!!" ...seriously made my day, my week, whatever!! literally in the few hours after he uploaded, jay got 1 million views. and like....30k suscribers, thousands of comments...

im so happy for him that he was able to share it again. theres so many conspiracies surrounding whether it really is him, or jype manipulating him or whatever, but im really so sick of thinking abt it, i dont care.

as also known - jay, tony and chacha went up to vancouver on the 21st to battle at Just Battle, battle of T.N.G. clips as follows [all credits to defJayyy's youtube]:

AOM vs. absolute crew


AOM vs. unleashed [byron's crew]

funny that my brother is also called byron. hahahah....


AOM vs. filthee feet



anyway, time to rant now. after watching the battles, i was APPALLED by the behaviour of the fangirls, who clearly were there only for jay [+ secondhand attention to chacha + tony]...when jay came on, the screams were DEAFENING, louder than any seattle battle iv watched. i hardly see how he could have concentrated with all those screams, i couldnt even hear the music. some of the other bboys also covered their ears, as i could see...gracious jay♥ and then as soon as it was the other crews' turn, and they did something really cool....NOTHING. not a squeak out of the fans.

now...thats just rude. bboy battles are not a concert, and its only respectful to appreciate the art if you're going to be there, not JUST for jay. not to mention he clearly wasnt even left alone....all the accounts suggest that he was crowded by fans all the time, and look. taking photos of the back of his head, touching him + giggling and running away, stealing his beanie so he has to ask for it back is both EMBARRASSING and ridiculous.

...just...rude. plain rude.



as for all the jay + 2PM related spam on AOM's page...well. perhaps i shouldnt start ranting on that. but in short - its AOM's page, NOT jays. as much as i love jay....aom is not jay only. and fans should not say they are 'AOM fans' when the majority are there for jay only. its ludicrous. and the other boys deserve recognition too -__-

Monday, March 8, 2010

FK. why does it make me so happy to just see you smile? sigh. il miss you, leadja. no one can ever replace you.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

breakin' 4 haiti

jay as the mystery bboy! i will edit once i find steproc's cuts, but here is jay breakin it down=]:



he lost, i think its because he slipped up, missed a freeze at the end, and the other guy was neater...even though he didnt do as many bboy moves. sigh...jay looked really tired throughout the whole thing, he looked thinner....possibly due to stress from the recent bad news?=/


EDIT: steproc's cuts:


steproc was amazing, i was really impressed with his freestyle! all those flips!!! DAMN SON!





seeing this makes me miss him more.....its hard to swallow that he really is, just a normal kid now....i hope his heart heals soon, and he'll be better than EVER.

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stay cool, jay♥♥ il always miss you...

Monday, March 1, 2010

GOODBYE 2PM.

.:[mood]:. pissed off, angry.
.:[musiq]:. one way - u drag


there will be no more posts on any of 5PM after this. khun, i will exempt for now. but after all that has been said and done, i am incredibly angry and disappointed in JYPE and their little minions, and they no longer deserve my respect nor support.

jay is permanently gone, and 2PM as it WAS, does not exist anymore.

sure, everyone has the right to believe what they want. believe what they want about what is true, and what is a concocted lie. but i am really, sick and tired of waiting and trying to believe in nothing. so FUCK you JYPE, FUCK you 5PM + khun[♥], i am DONE with you.

pictures don't lie, and for so many khottest to be leaving daum, to be angry...do you think they are still all fabricated lies? they are allowed to be human, all of them, jay is human too. but for a mistake that is so bad they couldn't protect him? when they are no angels themselves? DISGUSTING. where are your hearts? where are the boys i fell for oh so long ago? ....was that all a lie too?

ok, so i dont care all that much about their dirty lives. they arent perfect, i tend to have very cynical views on boys - so the fact they have sex with many girls, drink, smoke, not a surprise nor do i really care. i am angry because of the blatant disrespect they had for jay, and are now abusing khun.....who the hell are you to do that?

i feel fucking BETRAYED. there is a small possiblity that yes, this is a lie and the boys were not telling the truth at the conference. but im sick of trying to care. i nearly failed uni last year, failed a component of my exams THREE TIMES because i was so emotionally wrecked from all of this. i had MANY, MANY panic attacks within my exam period/1.59pm album release in november, i was bawling my eyes out for at least 5-6 hours EVERY DAY.

i spent a LOT of money donating towards the boys for various projects, i wrote many letters, i wrote many post its, i did nearly every single twitter trend even during exams, i have been partaking in various projects, drawing for EXTA5Y, trying to spread the word.....

a translator i know said this:
"The anti-boycotters that attended the conference have turned anti-6pm. That's how bad it was. And that's what the international community doesn't realize.

THE WHOLE Korean fanclub has turned their backs on 6PM. It's ONLY the international community that is fighting and arguing over whether to support 6PM or not. I would believe that Koreans have a better understanding of tone and attitude than we do.

There's only so much that me and the other ktrans can feed down the international community's throat before they start to wake up and realize that kHottests are for real and this is happening and 6PM is not receiving any support.

People keep saying that they are waiting for the actual conference to be subbed, that they want to judge tone and attitude for their own - it's impossible unless you're a part of that culture. They will never be able to completely understand what's considered respectful and disrespectful in Korea.

So bottom line... Even anti-boycotters and pro-6pm that went to the conference... They came out anti-6pm. That's how strong the effect of the conference was. PLEASE, the international community needs to wake up and act fast."

and now my time, i realise was never worth it. not for 5 of them, at least. i have the fucking right to be angry. for all my efforts, for all the other hottest efforts around the world, that they so blatantly say that fans did nothinig, that noone cared for jay - they had no respect for us then, and they have no respect for us now. so FUCK it, im out of this fandom.


so yes. there is a small 10% at the back of my mind that makes me doubt, makes me think...perhaps jay's image was all a huge, well fabricated LIE and he's not as beautiful as i thought. and that what the boys said was a lie. but until im proven otherwise, JAY has my faith and support.


my prayer for him now is to become GREAT. and for perhaps another company like YG ent. to realise his amazing potential and snap him up=] khun....stay strong and don't change. i dislike you for being weak and not speaking out, but you still have my love for not being an asshole.

im over this. if you don't like what i said, i don't care. iv had enough.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

tired.

.:[mood]:. lethargic.
.:[musiq]:. none, chris brown - take you down playing in my head.


im definitely just holding on for shorty now. and possibly woo + chan + junho. excuse me, but im tired of all the ignorant new fans in the fandom, im tired of the 6pm emo stripper concept, and im tired of JYPE. 6pm is really turning me off; im finding them less and less like the boys i fell for in the first place.

its not their fault; no, definitely not.....but im sick of how JYPE is marketing them.


i'll be a b2st + AOM + u-kiss fan all the way if this ends badly.


be strong jay! and very, very single, hey?=D why is he so far from here...>__< Photobucket

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Thursday, January 28, 2010

desperation.

.:[mood]:. scared.
.:[musiq]:. da mouth - 3010


if You are listening,

please save him. its been nearly 5 months since he left, and since then iv prayed nearly every single night for him. he deserves so much more than this.

please let this not affect me again for the 3rd time. i NEED to graduate from uni. please....T__T

the reality of this is killing me. 2 weeks...and hes gone.

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♥♥♥

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probably wont see this ever again...=[

....=[....T__T

Monday, January 25, 2010

jay on omegle? AHAHA

.:[mood]:. amused
.:[musiq]:. beast - beast is the b2st

ok....another random night trying to find hottest on omegle. look who i found=P


Stranger: hi
You: jay park?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: 2pm
You: really?
Stranger: really
You: wow u know 2pm
You: i am impressed
You: haha
Stranger: 저 진짜 박재범입니다. [im the real park jaebum.]
You: 진짜? prove it? [really? prove it]
Stranger: 진짜
Stranger: 팬분이신가요? [are you a fan?]
Stranger: 방금 연습하다가 잠시 들어왔는데 팬분만나서 기쁘네요 [my korean is a bit fail here...sth abt practising for a moment but returning for a moment to make the fan happy...or sth....someone help me out rofl]
You: 데. 진짜 박재범의 [yes, real park jaebum's]
You: hahahah
You: okay
You: 지금은 어디에뇨? [where are you now?]
You: *요
Stranger: 지금 [now]
Stranger: 대회연습하고 있어요 [at the practise studio[? not sure if studio]]
Stranger: 연습하다가 잠시 인터넷하는 중이에요 [practising for a moment while using the net? meh sth like that..]
You: 한국에서? [in korea?]
Stranger: 아니요 [no]
Stranger: 시애틀에서요 [in seattle]
You: so then
You: we can speak in english right?
You: :D
Stranger: 잠시만요 [wait a moment]
You: ahaha
You: 실패! [fail!]
Stranger: what?
Stranger: 지금 연습중인데 [now practsing]
You: im kidding
Stranger: 나가봐야할 것 같네요 [seems like i will have to go now]
Stranger: 죄송해요 [sorry]

*disconnect*


hahaha...i dont believe it. but....entertaining nevertheless. hahahaha.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

to JYPE.

.:[mood]:. upset, emo.
.:[musiq]:. 2am -웃어 줄수가 없어서 미안하다

Dear JYPE,

i hate you.
i hate you for introducing me to a group of the most wonderful 11 boys i have possibly EVER come across in my life.
i hate you for making me completely fall for a shorty with a beautiful heart.
i hate you for bringing such amazing sources of inspiration into my life.
i hate you for all the games you have played with my head and my heart over the past 5 months, as well as with other hottests.
i hate that you have lied and broke promises to hottest, and the boys.
i hate that you made wooyoung cry.
i hate that you have affected me so badly to the point i nearly failed my final year in uni..and am now paying for it.
i hate that you have caused me such anxiety over the last 5 months and gave me frequent and numerous crying and panic attacks.
i hate that i care so much about boys that dont even know i exist.


but most of all, i hate your incredible lack of support of jay, your LIES, and for putting him through all this, waiting, manipulation, when all he did was work his hardest in a country which was so foreign to him...for all his friends and family.

a kid so talented. how could you even do this to him?

and now wonder girls? how could you be so ruthless.....


if this goes down badly and you dont return jay back...im leaving this fandom. im sick of your games. if 6pm is successful you dont need to bring back jay, right? WRONG.


this may be a contraversial post, but im really sick and tired of being so emotionally wrecked from this.


sincerely yours,

beckii.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

shorty♥

.:[mood]:. blah.
.:[musiq]:. nothing, but younha - 우리 해여졌어요 in my head.

nothing to post as i should be studying. found this on soompi a few days back and its SO FRIGGIN CUTE. i dont know who to credit; so if anyone knows then please tell me.

TAECJAY COUPLE FTW!


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rofl. miss u shorty...

happy new yr + welcome to my crazy.

.:[mood]:. blah
.:[musiq]:. 4men - everything

off-topic-->but i love this song.

first off, happy new year to everyone! and may 2010 be a better year for all of us.

im finally back in australia, and even after 6 weeks of roaming around asia...still thought of jay all the time. everything reminded me of him. sigh. im so deluded...here are some of the things i saw that reminded me of him:

1. lady on the train in hong kong wearing a pinky ring = jay's pinky rings. i want one...i bought some girlier versions.

2. new years eve; one of my friends was wearing a black tshirt featuring a studded open mouth + tongue sticking out on the front = jay's black sleeveless version for niga mipda promos; and his grey tshirt version on star friend show survival with chansung. hehe.

3. yes, like lily's sister^^...when i watched avatar in hong kong....the main evil guy's 3 linear scars on his right side of his head = jay's hair for niga mipda promos hehe^^

4. friend who's excessive drinking and sleazy behaviour towards others when we were out for many nights in a row, as well as being a Christian = jay doesnt drink. and thinks its his job to protect girls. my angel♥ HAHA... [i realise this one may be a bit controversial...again i have nothing against drinking. i was just really irritated at the frequency of it withint the one week.]

5. walking around randomly in japan and came across a cafe called, 'Seattle's Best Coffee' = i miss you jay.

6. looking through a hat store = jay's baller caps. of which one i found. but only was available in huge sizes T__T

7. walking around temple st markets in hong kong, and i walked past this lady's selling table which had the words 'john 3:16' written on the side on a piece of paper = jay's favourite bible verse; which he told the news team who interviewed him back at his church in august '09..
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life..."






"im going crazy crazy crazy just thinking about you babyyy...." [K.Ci + JoJo] ..ROFL.