desperation.

.:[mood]:. scared.
.:[musiq]:. da mouth - 3010


if You are listening,

please save him. its been nearly 5 months since he left, and since then iv prayed nearly every single night for him. he deserves so much more than this.

please let this not affect me again for the 3rd time. i NEED to graduate from uni. please....T__T

the reality of this is killing me. 2 weeks...and hes gone.


♥♥♥


probably wont see this ever again...=[

....=[....T__T

jay on omegle? AHAHA

.:[mood]:. amused
.:[musiq]:. beast - beast is the b2st

ok....another random night trying to find hottest on omegle. look who i found=P


Stranger: hi
You: jay park?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: 2pm
You: really?
Stranger: really
You: wow u know 2pm
You: i am impressed
You: haha
Stranger: 저 진짜 박재범입니다. [im the real park jaebum.]
You: 진짜? prove it? [really? prove it]
Stranger: 진짜
Stranger: 팬분이신가요? [are you a fan?]
Stranger: 방금 연습하다가 잠시 들어왔는데 팬분만나서 기쁘네요 [my korean is a bit fail here...sth abt practising for a moment but returning for a moment to make the fan happy...or sth....someone help me out rofl]
You: 데. 진짜 박재범의 [yes, real park jaebum's]
You: hahahah
You: okay
You: 지금은 어디에뇨? [where are you now?]
You: *요
Stranger: 지금 [now]
Stranger: 대회연습하고 있어요 [at the practise studio[? not sure if studio]]
Stranger: 연습하다가 잠시 인터넷하는 중이에요 [practising for a moment while using the net? meh sth like that..]
You: 한국에서? [in korea?]
Stranger: 아니요 [no]
Stranger: 시애틀에서요 [in seattle]
You: so then
You: we can speak in english right?
You: :D
Stranger: 잠시만요 [wait a moment]
You: ahaha
You: 실패! [fail!]
Stranger: what?
Stranger: 지금 연습중인데 [now practsing]
You: im kidding
Stranger: 나가봐야할 것 같네요 [seems like i will have to go now]
Stranger: 죄송해요 [sorry]

*disconnect*


hahaha...i dont believe it. but....entertaining nevertheless. hahahaha.

to JYPE.

.:[mood]:. upset, emo.
.:[musiq]:. 2am -웃어 줄수가 없어서 미안하다

Dear JYPE,

i hate you.
i hate you for introducing me to a group of the most wonderful 11 boys i have possibly EVER come across in my life.
i hate you for making me completely fall for a shorty with a beautiful heart.
i hate you for bringing such amazing sources of inspiration into my life.
i hate you for all the games you have played with my head and my heart over the past 5 months, as well as with other hottests.
i hate that you have lied and broke promises to hottest, and the boys.
i hate that you made wooyoung cry.
i hate that you have affected me so badly to the point i nearly failed my final year in uni..and am now paying for it.
i hate that you have caused me such anxiety over the last 5 months and gave me frequent and numerous crying and panic attacks.
i hate that i care so much about boys that dont even know i exist.


but most of all, i hate your incredible lack of support of jay, your LIES, and for putting him through all this, waiting, manipulation, when all he did was work his hardest in a country which was so foreign to him...for all his friends and family.

a kid so talented. how could you even do this to him?

and now wonder girls? how could you be so ruthless.....


if this goes down badly and you dont return jay back...im leaving this fandom. im sick of your games. if 6pm is successful you dont need to bring back jay, right? WRONG.


this may be a contraversial post, but im really sick and tired of being so emotionally wrecked from this.


sincerely yours,

beckii.

shorty♥

.:[mood]:. blah.
.:[musiq]:. nothing, but younha - 우리 해여졌어요 in my head.

nothing to post as i should be studying. found this on soompi a few days back and its SO FRIGGIN CUTE. i dont know who to credit; so if anyone knows then please tell me.

TAECJAY COUPLE FTW!





rofl. miss u shorty...

happy new yr + welcome to my crazy.

.:[mood]:. blah
.:[musiq]:. 4men - everything

off-topic-->but i love this song.

first off, happy new year to everyone! and may 2010 be a better year for all of us.

im finally back in australia, and even after 6 weeks of roaming around asia...still thought of jay all the time. everything reminded me of him. sigh. im so deluded...here are some of the things i saw that reminded me of him:

1. lady on the train in hong kong wearing a pinky ring = jay's pinky rings. i want one...i bought some girlier versions.

2. new years eve; one of my friends was wearing a black tshirt featuring a studded open mouth + tongue sticking out on the front = jay's black sleeveless version for niga mipda promos; and his grey tshirt version on star friend show survival with chansung. hehe.

3. yes, like lily's sister^^...when i watched avatar in hong kong....the main evil guy's 3 linear scars on his right side of his head = jay's hair for niga mipda promos hehe^^

4. friend who's excessive drinking and sleazy behaviour towards others when we were out for many nights in a row, as well as being a Christian = jay doesnt drink. and thinks its his job to protect girls. my angel♥ HAHA... [i realise this one may be a bit controversial...again i have nothing against drinking. i was just really irritated at the frequency of it withint the one week.]

5. walking around randomly in japan and came across a cafe called, 'Seattle's Best Coffee' = i miss you jay.

6. looking through a hat store = jay's baller caps. of which one i found. but only was available in huge sizes T__T

7. walking around temple st markets in hong kong, and i walked past this lady's selling table which had the words 'john 3:16' written on the side on a piece of paper = jay's favourite bible verse; which he told the news team who interviewed him back at his church in august '09..

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life..."

"im going crazy crazy crazy just thinking about you babyyy...." [K.Ci + JoJo] ..ROFL.